#i cant do shit!!!!!! literally nothing!!!! and nothing helps!!!!!

[ccrv-7]

i know its probably just me doing a backwards slide mental health-wise but god. i really wasnt built to be in this world

[mrmeepsmadmind]

rewatching this over and over again.. mainly bcs tarn makes soundwave into a manlet but also bcs it's hilarious

[rapidhighway]

avoidance is my fucking doom man, i know i should go to class but i fucking cant get myself to

[mohntilyet]

not to mention the entire antaam fleet like 😭 that was the PERFECT moment to show off what the lords could do!!! The antaam fucked over rivain, theyve been a thorn in the whole nations side for a long time now, they would not pass up a chance for payback via full scale naval warfare so that the veilguard can do what they need to!! Sure dreadnoughts are dangerous but at this point they probably have tricks up their sleeve, thats one of the few things they have!

also wouldn't it be personal because does solas not try to blow up kont-aar because he's trying to 5d chess tevinter and the qunari into destroying each other. like. i know technically this would not be incredible widespread news because the attack was stopped, but i don't think the wonderful citizens of kont-aar would have missed the tsunami that nearly hit them and the shockwave that actually hit them. rumors go around. and i assume irian/vadis tell varric. who i think would tell isabela. who would tell the group she leads. who would care because ofc, they LIVE IN RIVAIN, and now know that solas and his followers thinks they can trade rivaini lives* to further his plans.

*while i also think there's probably a divide between kont-aar and the rest of the nation, it's one that the rivaini love to jump across and back over. an interesting comparison to be made here with most of rivain having similar sentiments towards dairsmuid and the chantry. like this is the country specifically mentioned to have a lot of citizens who follow the qun/are non-andrastian + it being MUCH more multicultural and accepting than other nations. any attack on rivain, even if it's a qunari settlement, would fan a lot of flames that solas cannot put out so the idea of trying to him taking multiple steps back because he didn't realise how intensely the qun/rivaini/lords would react is very fun for me. it would have been soo interesting for rivain to be a hub for efforts against solas because of how it's not influenced by andrastianism, how he (or his agents) specifically fucked them over, and (maddeningly for solas) also part of this resistance has spirits who willingly guide them against him. this could have even been a plot device where the door goes both ways and solas finds out rook's plans because he manages to eavesdrop through a seer or something.

and on the spirits. all the stuff where the mourn watch regularly communicates with spirits could have been done with rivain as well, and with different takes on being 'friendly' with spirits. iirc there's a spirit in the hall of valor which is so interesting but it's literally just there for flavour text. THERE'S A SPIRIT IN THE HALL OF VALOR THAT DOES NOTHING BESIDES LIKE. SAY HI. ??? bioware i would have liked to see more spirits and seers and the matriarchal pantheists you have talked about please. and also the idea of the peaceful qunari settlement being pushed to protect the country they are part of and what that means for them as qunari vs. rivaini. taash's storyline could have contributed to this . so A LOT less about choosing a side, more about how kont-aar has developed, changed, how rivain has influenced it and what it means to be qunari. not the qunari agents and fighters that we have seen, but their 'civillian' way of life in kont-aar.

complete waste not seeing any of established lore reflected in the lords of fortune or rivain because i stupidly actually thought we were going to see some kind of settlement and be introduced to a very different cultural norms.. in my beautiful mind i like to think taash is a little taken aback by how badly mages/elves/etc are treated. like they understood it was different outside of rivain (they would have been young when the dairsmuid circle annulment happened right? so they don't 'remember' it themself, they likely heard others talking about it when they're old enough to understand) but until they actually saw what was happening first hand, they had a weird dissonance about it. but what we got was a deserted beach, ties to another faction (wardens are fine!! they are great !!!! the fourth blight is interesting!!!! yet they are not the faction with a lack of info about them!!!!!) and also the hall of valor that exists as flavor text with nothing meaningful behind it besides a pub used in a few cutscenes and a minigame.

[ganondoodle]

i really hate gettign so frustrated i get extremely irritatable and so full of ... energy of just wanting to cry and punch and kick something, and for some reason i also get incredibly itchy but in a way that it wont stop and i just want to scratch my skin off, like theres a little guy running over my skin and stabbing me with a needle in the same spots over and over, every little normal thing can send me over the edge, even thigns like typos, today it was cutting a little avocado that wasnt quite ripe yet, so i wasted it, and annoying ads on TV-

been trying for ages to draw literally anything, been trying to work on a new design sheet for links shiekah arm and i thought maybe i should ditch the sketch part since all things seemed to get stuck on it, but no, i dont know what it is, been trying to just get some of those shiekah squiggly design lines on it and its been three days without anything looking even remotely like i want and its so goddamn stupid, its just some wiggly lines!!!!! and now i am stting here in tears bc im so angry and frustrated about it, all this time wasting over and over and over im so tired of it, i dont want to not draw either though, i have wasted hours doing shitty grind quests in slime rancher, i have been helping with baking cookies, been folding little paper stars, all things i hoped would help me get out of this but it wont work, i am at my wits end

crying and kicking stuff so hard it hurts you cant be the right way to cope with this but all other things that have worked in the past arent doing that...................

[artificer-real]

ive started to really despise self help posts because all they do for me is illustrate just how apparently fucked i am compared to most other people

[theinsterminators]

"surely this will remedy itself on its own," i say, ignoring a problem of my own doing

[grimtaleslb]

yo is the mini game bugged????? i cant get past the strict judge

[eatanorange]

me reminding myself that american grad school isn't built for neurodiverse people, esp online: I'm gonna break things down in to manageable pieces like they told me in orientation :) everything will work out when I do it exactly as planned :)

also me, fighting the shame of not doing things 'perfectly on time' with a baseball bat bc god forbid it takes me all week to do all the readings and lecture content before I have enough of a grasp to engage in a discussion about it AND engage with my peers who are also discussing and adding new ideas at the same time: DOING IT BAD IS BETTER THAN NOT AT ALL. DO IT BAD ITS OKAY. JUST DO IT BADLY I'M ON MY HANDS AND KNEES.

anyway fanfic writing has become very motivating all of the sudden :)

[waywardsalt]

probably going to rework my human bellum design again

[mamawasatesttube]

if i'm being honest i have to admit. i think byrne's supergirl saga is... so incredibly stupid 💀💀💀

[dinkdonkjoolian]

me (a very reasonable person/sar) genuinely contemplating suicide because of a minor inconvenience or having to actively restrain myself from lashing out at my closest and most beloved family and friends over insignificant and alltogether harmless mistakes/percieved slights against me. both of these things happen literally daily can somebody please just end it for me

[guinevereslancelot]

hopefully i'm not getting ahead of myself with the second job idea but i'm v excited abt the possibility

[bitegore]

ngl i think i kind of was a genius for being like 'yeah this character is a scary killyou cannibal scary killer who scary kills you' and then realizing that the way my worldbuilding works out is that there's a nonzero chance that if you leave literally any body parts over they can just come back, depending on what they believe in their heart of hearts can kill them. Of course she'd start eating her kills. She probably tried normal stuff first and then realized it didn't work and she had to try harder if she wanted to actually keep them dead.

[thediktatortot]

.

[grumpyghostdoodles]

feeling blue. palette used "I Will not Die" from color me curious blog.

things are going to be okay